Anti-Mondayism
by Snowy-Maplette
Summary: Canada jumped over a collage intern. Ran into a mirror. Knocked over a coffee maker and almost slammed into a group of journalists. He might have tripped over the Prime Minister's wife but Canada didn't even have time to apologize. All he knew was someone was trying to break into his stash of maple syrup and they were going to have hell to pay for. One-Shot


" _I hope you don't mind, I helped myself to your semi-automatic rifle."_

* * *

Canada felt the disturbance right in the middle of a meeting.

And frankly, the timing could not have been worse.

His entire body froze up as a shiver ran through his spine. His unusual violet eyes flickered from the multicolored graphs being projected onto the screen to the windows that depicted the scene of a beautiful fall day. He lowered his hand and stared off into the distance, eyes glazed and unfocused.

An awkward silence encompassed the room. The people who sat at the long conference table began murmuring uncertainly to each other. No one was sure if they should say anything about Canada's sudden lack of attention or if it was just a planned part of the presentation.

Canada remained motionless.

That is until finally the Minister of Education broke the quiet. "Excuse me Mr. Williams, but are you alright?"

Canada instantly broke out of his trance at the sound of her voice. He cleared his throat in embarrassment and brushed off non-existent dust off of his suit, "Ah, sorry. I spaced out for a bit. Anyway..." Canada continued with his presentation on the current state of the Economy with the same flourish as before.

But his mind was far from the numbers and the statistics that flickered on the graphs and the quick bulleted notes next to them.

Another Nation had entered his country. Canada had felt them cross his border. Completely unannounced.

But he highly doubted that someone thought it would be a great idea to try and invade and conquer him. Unless they were drunk off their ass of course.

Then again, the list of nations that would willingly visit Canada was rather short, and it was highly unlikely that any of them would turn up unannounced.

It couldn't be England, he would have called. Same with France. Netherlands was too polite to just barge in. Ukraine was too busy with the final harvest of the season, and preparing her farm for the winter. And she too would have at least sent Canada a text if she was planning on visiting him.

It might have been Cuba, although Canada knew he was taking a two week vacation from anything to do with other Nations after the last disastrous World Meeting.

Not that Canada could blame the island country. He still felt nauseous every time he saw a watering can and a sack of flower in the same room.

So that left Canada with two options. Either America or Prussia decided to crash at Canada's place, which was very likely, or there was another factor at play here.

Canada suppressed a sigh as he opened the floor to questions. His eyes flicking to the clock on the wall every few minutes. He needed to get home asap.

The last time America had popped by Canada's house without letting Canada himself know, the glutton had stuck stickers of the American flag all over Canada's furniture. The last time Prussia had broke into Canada's house in the middle of the night, he drank every single bottle of maple syrup like it was water.

Both times Canada had to restrain himself from strangling the other nations.

But there was nothing Canada could do until the meeting was over. So he was just going to have to buckle down and stew until the whole thing was over.

Then he could go wreak havoc on America and or Prussia for whatever weird prank they thought up of this time.

Nearly an hour after Canada's sudden realization, polite applause rang out in the air. Canada finished his presentation, nodded his head in thanks, and he unplugged his computer from the projector. He quickly grabbed all of his possessions and stumbled over to his seat.

He barely had time to sit down before his body seized up. His left eye twitched.

Some one was in his house.

It was hard to explain how he knew. It was kind of like how he knew that there was a nation in his country, or how he could feel all of his citizens both at home and abroad.

But that didn't change the fact that he didn't know who broke into his house. He could definitely feel a less than human presence in his home. And it was definitely not Canada's immortal polar bear.

Canada's eyes widened. If someone was at his house, it could very well mean that his supply of maple syrup was being threatened.

Oh no, this was not happening. No one was going to steal his Maple Syrup on his watch.

This time he didn't hold back.

This time he ran.

Before anyone could say: 'potato train', Canada had snapped his suit case up and bolted through the door just as one of the representatives of some generic oil company stepped up to present.

The young man standing in front of the screen swayed as the wind propelled by Canada's speedy exit. Hair and loose papers fluttered about, and yet there were very few people that were surprised when Canada hightailed it out of there.

"I..." The oil company representative seemed at a loss as he stared at the door, "Did I do something wrong?" He asked in an uncertain and high pitched voice.

The Minister of Environment and Climate Change held her sleeve up to her mouth and muttered "A whole lot" in between coughs.

"No," The Prime Minister of Canada said with a pointed glance at the Minister of Environment, "You did not do anything wrong." He turned back to the poor young man anxiously standing at the podium, "Mr. Williams was called away on urgent business relating to his job. This is a weekly occurrence, so this is nothing you should worry about."

Someone snickered in the back.

The Prime Minister either didn't notice, or chose to ignore it. "Please continue your presentation on the merits of drilling in the Arctic."

* * *

Canada jumped over a collage intern. Ran into a mirror. Knocked over a coffee maker and almost slammed into a group of journalists. He might have tripped over the Prime Minister's wife but Canada didn't even have time to apologies much less see if it was her. All he knew was someone was trying to break into his stash of maple syrup and they were going to have hell to pay for.

Security didn't even bother stopping him as he flew out the front doors of the Parliament building and out onto the lawn where Canadian citizens were freely strolling on the grounds.

In record time, Canada reached his car and jammed his keys into the ignition.

He managed to get to his home that was over thirty miles out from Ottawa in less than ten minutes despite the lunch time rush.

When Canada pulled up in his drive way, his expression darkened as he saw a very very very familiar red pick up truck parked near his garage.

Canada knew exactly who broke into his house.

"AMERICA" He yelled as he slammed his front door open.

The framed photos on the misty blue walls shook on their nails. A pencil that was half suspended in the air rolled off the edge of the coffee table.

A man, nearly identical to Canada stood frozen in the doorway with wide deer-in-the-headlights eyes, a slightly unhinged jaw, and a black duffle bag hanging off his arm.

"Heeeeey, Canada!" America said as he shook off his momentary daze, "Long time no see bro!" He said with a mega watt smile and casually leaned against the doorframe with the duffle bag thrown over his shoulder like an expensive purse.

But for once, Canada wasn't feeling entirely diplomatic.

He was fuming.

"Cut the crap, America." Canada snapped in annoyance, "Put the maple syrup down and we can pretend this never happened."

America blinked owlishly, prompting Canada to gesture at the lumpy bag.

"What? Oh!" The American twin said as he lifted the bag up, "I hope you don't mind, I helped myself to your semi-automatic rifle."

Silence.

America continued to smile.

Canada stared In disbelief.

"...I don't have a semi-automatic rifle." Canada said flatly, "Not in this house at least."

"Really?" America asked in bewilderment, "Oh, well I guess this one's mine then. Must have left it here by mistake. OH WELL, guess I'll just take it off of your hands and leave-" America moved to step around the pissed Canadian, but was stopped when Canada's arm shot out, effectively blocking America's escape route.

"Crap." The American muttered under his breath.

Canada reached his hand out. "Bag." He demanded. When America remained motionless, Canada swooped in and swiped the bag out of America's hands.

"Hey! That's my gun!" America yelped as he made a mad grab for the bag, "I can sue you ya know! This is a violation of the second amendment!"

"You're in the wrong country for that!" Canada yelled as he dived over couch and ripped the bag open. "Aha!" The northern twin grinned triumphantly as he leaned back to displayed his findings.

There was maple syrup.

Jug after jug after jug of homemade maple syrup.

"Now," Canada began as he dusted off his business suit, "Will you please tell me why you thought it was a good idea to try and make off with over $600 worth of my maple syrup?" The glare he sent his twin brother could have melted a mountain into molten lava.

America shifted his weight from the balls of his feet to his heels, looking off to the side like a kicked puppy. He had the pout down and everything. "But Caaaanadaaaaa," he whined, "It's Monday!"

It took a moment for Canada, but once he figured it out he sputtered and shot to his feet, temporarily forgetting about the almost-stolen goods.

"Did you actually drive nine hours up here just because you didn't want to show up to work?" He asked, completely dumbfound. He knew his brother hated Monday's, but this was a new low even for him.

America grinned, "I mean that's not the only reason. Everyone knows that you have the most kick-A pancakes and maple syrup in the world."

But Canada wasn't paying attention. He reached into his back pocket and slide out his smartphone and he hunched over the screen. "It's 11:28 right now." He announced, "If you were in DC that means the latest you could have left was at two in the morning provided you didn't stop for snacks, which I know you did. Don't try to deny it."

"It's cool dude!" America reassured, "I had like five cups of coffee on the way here."

Canada made a move to argue, but before he could even get a word in, his phone vibrated. He paused and looked down. The phone vibrated again. And then suddenly, Canada's phone was shaking in his hand like a wild animal desperate to escape.

"Bro, your phone's blowing up." America pointed.

"I can see that. I have eyes you know," Canada deadpanned just before he began reading the texts.

"K, so it seems like your busy now so I'll leave you alone-"

"Nope," Canada swatted America's hand away from the bag of maple syrup without once looking up from his phone, "Would you care to tell me why I'm getting crazed texts from the American embassy right now?" America blinked in surprise. "Something about you disappearing off of the face of the earth?"

At that, America relaxed a bit. "Awww yeeah, I didn't exactly tell anyone where I was going so..."

Canada's eye twitched, "...You have five seconds to start running."

"Wait, what?"

"Five."

"Canada, bro cha cho, it's cool man I'll just text them right now."

"Four."

"Dude why do you look so red? you get a fever or something?"

"Three"

"hOLY crap! Where did you get that hockey stick?"

"Two"

"ALRIGHT I'M OUT"

"One!" Canada roared as he raised his hockey stick up in the air threateningly, and launched himself out the door just in time to see his twin brother veer around the car and jump head first into the bushes. The Northern nation wasted no time jumping over his front steps and gave chase to his fleeing brother.

A solid thirty minutes passed of running, dodging, and half-petrified squeals passed before Canada finally jumped off of the garage roof and tackled America to the ground.

During the game of cat and mouse, Canada lost his hockey stick in the pond behind his house, ripped up his business suit to the point where it would be less expensive to buy a new one than to repair it. America's hair turned brown after tumbling into a puddle of mud, and his skin was covered in scratches from the brambles he trampled.

But that didn't mean that Canada didn't puff out his chest triumphantly when he finally pinned his thriving brother down. He tilted his head to the side, just enough so that the sunlight would glare against his glasses.

"You know what I'm going to do to you?" He asked with a half crazed look in his eye.

America gulped, "What are you gunna do?"

Canada gave his brother a shit-eating grin, "This!" He yelled as he slide his hands under America's underarms and began tickling the hell out of the American.

"HAAAHAHAHAHA, DUDE NO!" America laughed, "No-no fair, hehehe, YA KNOW I'M TICKLISH AS HELL"

"Exactly," Canada said knowingly as he continued his tickle attack on a squirming America, "This will teach you to go through my stuff." Canada let his brother suffer for a few more minutes before letting him up.

America stumbled to his feet as his brother pulled him up, "Yeesh," America wheezed out as he grabbed his knees in order to catch his breath, "I did not expect that to happen. I thought you were actually going to try and kill me."

Canada flung his head back and barked with laughter, "I thought about it but then I realized that I'd have to clean up all the blood." He glanced up America, "Do you need a ride back across the border?"

"Naw, I've got my truck. I can make it back just in time for the dinner reception with the Big Boss." America waved him off.

The northerner shook his head and sighed, "Of course you would miss an entire work day because you don't like Mondays-"

"-Mondays are one of Satan's many birthdays-"

"-But you've timed it just right that you'll get back home in time to have a fancy hamburger in the White House.

America smiled and crushed Canada in a giant bear hug, "You know me so well little brah!"

"...I'm...Older than you!" Canada chocked out as he fought against his brother's death grip.

"Yeah, keep telling yourself that bro, keep telling yourself that"

 **Disclaimer: I do not own Hetalia, therefore I do not own aph Canada or aph America. I do not own the government of Canada either although it would be really cool if I did. When I use titles such as Prime minister, or the Minister of Education, please note that I am not referring to anyone who actually held those titles in the real world both past or present. This is all a work of fanfiction, and I am not earning any money off of this story.**

 **Author's Note:**

 **Oh boy. This one-shot is literally four, no five months late. I was supposed to post this for my 100th reviewer, Lukas Le Stelle, on my story In Other News way back in April O.O I am so sorry about that, I kind of forgot it existed for a while and I just found it maybe like a week ago when I was looking through old story files so I re read it, edited it and now it's posted!**

 **Given the fact that it took me THIS LONG WHICH I AM SO SORRY FOR I don't think I'll be taking a lot of requests, or giving one-shots as gifts for a lot of people.**

 **So anyway, it's finally up after all of this time! Lukas Le Stelle, I hope that you have enjoyed it! At first I wasn't really sure what to do with your prompt because I didn't**

 **Want it to end up too much like , but it suddenly hit me when I went out for a walk and then I managed to write down 2/3 of it before shit hit the fan and finals came and I forgot about it for basically the entire summer. And now that school and the volleyball season has started, I haven't had much time to just write.**

 **But hey! This is my first official complete story on this account! So thank you for reading it!**

 **Snowy-Maplette**


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